Obviously I don't. A dear friend had her 18th birthday party at her grandparents lakehouse last night. Let me just say that we were still up chatting at 5:30 the next morning. It was wonderful. We, all 7 of us, had a fun time gabbing about boys, school, and just life in general. The things you learn playing "I've Never...".....
Anyway, late that morning, after we had slept a few hours and had gotten back up, I ran out to my car where I had left my purse. Inside it was a pill bottle *FILLED* with my morning meds and some advil for my sinus headaches. It was odd. I mean, I always take a handful of pills each morning, and sometimes around friends, but this time is was different. Every person there knew there is something "wrong" medically with me, but that's not why it was different. Almost as if they had planned it out the night before, when I took my pills, 2 other people went and got their morning dosage and took it with me. Sure, I single-handedly take more than the two of them combined, but I wasn't alone. It was a nice feeling. A feeling long overdue.
So, over these fews posts someone may have gotten a glimpse into my life that may have been hidden from them before. I was not hiding it intentionally. For years, yes, I was. But can you blame me? I did not personally know a SINGLE PERSON with CF besides me until this past January. As far as I could tell, I was the lone-cystic in Shreveport. Sad, right? Yeah. It was. But I'm not alone, but at the same time I am. However, that is another post for another day.
The feeling of loneliness is a hard feeling to shake and is usually perpetual. Once you feel you are alone, you will continue to convince yourself that you are. Think of something about yourself that is a major part of you (your race, your religion, your gender, etc.). Now imagine you live in a world that you are the *only one* like that. People can sympathize that you're alone or that you go through things that no one else does, but they can't truly understand. Welcome to my world.
It's not so bad most of the time. I am extremely healthy in comparison. Of course, every CF case is different. My first hospitalization (after my young'un years) was in 7th grade. That was something the nurses just couldn't believe. I was told to be the "CF Poster Child." Great. Yeah. Sure. Ok. That's really how I want to be remembered. NO THANKS.
I am very healthy, even for 'normal' people. And really, if you learn to be compliant with medicines and the daily routine of different nebulizers and machines, it's not too hard to be a cystic. Compliance is the key.
I'll post more in depth in upcoming posts, I promise. More about my actual experiences and life. Heck, I'll even post a "Day in the Life" kinda thing. But right now, Chemistry is calling my name and it doesn't sound too happy with me... remember, I'm a 'normal' kid too!
Have a good one. :]
Some topics I cover
allergy article blogs body image Carter Cayston CF church college compliance coughing crawfish depressed diet doctor dog embarrassing story ENT enzymes ER exercise family FEV1 fire alarm food friends fundraising future genes goals God grades graduation Great Strides gym hemoptysis home hope hormones hospital Husband Kiarda kids lab lifespan lonely Louis lung function lung pain lungs medicines message to CF money pain PFTs PICC line pictures pneumonia running RunSickboyRun ShAIR sick Sigma Kappa singing sinus surgery sinuses smoking soccer stress TOBI transplant treatment Vertex Vest video walk-through weight workout Zoe