Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Luke 12:25-26

Monday, August 24, 2009

And the countdown begins....

From Monday, the count is: 9 days until college life. Wowza. That's.... soon.

So I started that running routine and, except for this weekend out of town, it has worked well. I get up ~7:10, do treatment, and try to be out of the door sometime soon after 7:30. I have been taking two laps around my neighborhood running the pace of [3 minutes running, 1 minute casual walking, 1 minute brisk-power walking, repeat]. There is a small hill in my neighborhood. It's small enough that it doesn't intimidate, but steep enough you FEEL it.... oh man. And I start getting weary near the end of lap 2. But I have to keep going. I keep encouraging myself. I keep reminding myself that CF doesn't quit, doesn't take a day off. CF wants nothing more than to win me over, and I take pride in making my goal to stand in the way of some[thing] else's goal. So I run in the way of CF's goal and I keep running. If that makes sense. It's like half symbolism and half real. Haha!

In an upcoming post, assuming nothing drastic happens before then, I plan to kinda give a brief overview on my life: the part with CF, the part without, my family, my sport, my meds, everything. Just lay it all out there so there is no confusion at all about my situation.

One last thing. Hey, CF, you're not going to win this. Are you listening? I am stronger and more determined than you can ever be. You've made me this way, and for this I thank you. However, I don't need you. Please, just try and stop me from living my life. You already have and so far it hasn't worked. Even with a PICC I played physical soccer for a very important game. I push through even when others think I should quit, because of you. I'm going on to be great and you will be nothing but backgruond noise. I'm not afraid of you. Try me. I don't back down from fights, and this is no exception. The more you bother, frustrate, hurt, and try to take over me, the harder I fight back. So c'mon. Bring it. Because I'll bring it right back, 10 fold. You. Will. NOT. Win.


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

"Sign Danger!"

So I keep up with a few other blogs of people with CF and 2 of them stress the importance of working out daily. When I say stress, I mean glaring-in-your-face-with-a-florescent-sign level of stressing. After ~13 years of soccer and 6 years of that being premier/varsity level, I'm ENJOYING my break. Premier and varsity level... they work ya hard. And then being a goalie... basically I did everything the field players did (the running, leg work-outs, etc) AND had a goalie training (more running, arm, leg, core workouts, DRILLS DRILLS DRILLS, endurance training, etc.). Being a goalie is hard work, people, trust me. It's not for the fat kid who can't run like everyone likes to believe.

These people who are writing the blogs about the importance of working out/running when you are a 'cystic' are later in life than I am and probably wish they had started this earlier. Ok, here's where we put, as my French teacher called it, a "Sign Danger". A Sign Danger is usually placed when the French grammar is different or needs special attention. In this case, the fact that I'm learning this piece of advice from the experience of others older than myself needs special attention. When we drew Sign Dangers, she would tell us to use many colours. That's a Microsoft Paint drawing of kinda what some of my Sign Dangers from French looked like. I owned many different highlighters.

So what does this mean? I have 2 weeks left before I leave for college. When I get to college, I'm living VERY close to the intermurals center. Will I make up excuses? Or will I get up early every morning and go running before my 9:30 or 10:00 am classes? More importantly, will I start running in the morning NOW to work up a habit as I get to college? If I don't, there will be an even larger Sign Danger next to my PFT results because I didn't maintain my health. So, tomorrow, I start running again. Darn.


Sunday, August 16, 2009

Saturday on the Lake

I spent a large chunk of Saturday on a lake with my friend Gaelin, my friend Alissa (see Sci-port adventure) and Alissa's grandfather. When riding in a fast moving boat, my favourite place to sit in near the bow (the front, for you land creatures). When hitting a wave, it gives the same senation as sitting in the very back of a school bus: a bumpy ride. But there's something I love more than feeling like I might be thrown from the boat at the next wave: I love the wind in my face. I breathe the best at these moments, when oxygen is not only being inhaled but practically forced into my respitory system. Those times when it's actually harder to exhale than inhale. It's relaxing and I feel CF free for those few moments. Bliss.

Well, the lake was bliss until I was floating in the water downwind of 2 people who decided to smoke IN the water!? I'm blunt when it comes to that. Kill yourself, but don't take me with you. I've got enough lung problems without your help. Thanks.

But other than that, the lake was a success. Today, I'm VERY sore from my master tubing abilities, but it was very worth it. Now, I just wait for Sept. 2.
*Checks calender*
This is going to take a while....


Thursday, August 13, 2009


I love Sci-port. And I went today with two of my Chem 2 lab partners. How geeky, right? Oh it was awesome. [Link to Sci-port]

I went to gift shop afterwards and bought some of that Galaxy Slime. You know, that putty stuff that feels like it's a liquid but is more like the movie character Flubber? It's great. Here are the pictures from that adventure.

A really neat camera. That's me with my aviators on.

A face morpher thing. That's me

My friend Alissa, morphed

And Caleb without a body. Whoops. The army might not want him anymore.

As you can see, we had fun. :] Sci-port is the place.


Sunday, August 9, 2009

Can I be negative for just a sec?

It's not actually that negative, but most of my friends/family will find it that way. I started thinking: I'm almost 19. Double that and I'm at 38. Today the current life expectancy for people with CF is ~35 [Ref.][Ref.][Ref.][Ref.]. That means I'm in my "mid-life"! Shouldn't I buy some fancy sports car and doing crazy and wild things??

Sorry for thinking like that but for me, it's a brutal truth. No, I'm not counting down the days to my 35th birthday, but I do think realistically at the things my friends/family don't want to even let cross their minds. **SPOILER** Wake up people. Odds are pretty good that if a car crash doesn't take me, CF will. And it won't look at my kids when I'm older and think "Oh, what cute kids. I should let her live longer." And then CF just sits in the backseat for 20+ more years. No. Sorry. That's not how this works.

No, I'm not pondering on morbid thoughts. No, it really doesn't bother me. Sure, sometimes but isn't that normal?? But it doesn't right now. It's just something I think about because it's not like I can hide from it. I actually found it slightly amusing that I'm in my "mid-life crisis" about 20 years before everyone else. haha.

Ok. No more thoughts like that for the blog tonight. Sorry for being a debbie downer. lol


Monday, August 3, 2009

Real Stuff updates

Exactly 1 month from today, I will be living in my college town for the first day of Rush. I'm pretty excited. Sometimes I get this wave of nervousness (or dream anxious dreams...) but then the excitement comes back. I think it's pretty cool that the same kid who wasn't really supposed to make it out of the hospital at birth, or live past 3, is going off to college. It's been a really cool road to get here too. Despite having CF, most of my life hasn't been medical. Most of it has been spent playing soccer, going to school, and being with friends doing what "normal" kids do. What a crazy life God has given me. I mean, He gave me life and then threw in this curveball to deal with everyday and yet, He gave me a pretty normal life.

I listened to a sermon on Sunday of a guy in College Station, TX, and he said at one point about his herniated disk problems, "No, I know this isn't a cure, but it will help. And I plan on doing the best I can to be ready for when God does bring that healing for me." Those words really hit me hard. This really applies to any medical problem, but to do everything possible to get better so when God decides to heal you, you've literally done everything possible to get to that point. Wow. That's not me. I get so lazy and tired of doing what I'm supposed to do sometimes that I just do something half-way or not at all. Yes, I know it's destructive. Yes, I know it's hurting others besides me. Yes, I know it's selfish but you try dealing with this everyday for 18+ years, no breaks, no mulligans, no getting actually better. Just keep doing it. (And for those who are in the same position as I am, have you ever skipped stuff? Most likely, yes.) However, with this new freedom of college, I'm going to have to step it up because sometimes it's going to be even harder to stay on top of everything I have to do since I'm managing literally ALL of it now. So this attitude of "do everything I can so I'll be ready" is what I'm trying to grab and hold on to. I know there will be times when I'm shot down completely because I can do everything right and I still get sick or don't feel well. That's like a kick in the stomach for me. I hate that more than anything. But oh well.

Other things.. umm... my high school friends start back 2 weeks from today. Poor kids. I'll be there that day to pick up my yearbook, but not going to class there anymore. :]

Oh! I gained weight. :]]]]]]] I gained the weight I lost after my sinus surgery in March/April. That means I had a very happy doctor's visit recently.

You know what I love? I love seeing my doctors outside of clinic. I went to a movie in the park and saw my nurse practitioner. At work (well this one makes more sense) I see my pulmonologist, my dietitian, my nurse, and once my main CF doctor. It makes my day. I always run up and hug them.

Alright. Time to get moving with my day.