It's not actually that negative, but most of my friends/family will find it that way. I started thinking: I'm almost 19. Double that and I'm at 38. Today the current life expectancy for people with CF is ~35 [Ref.][Ref.][Ref.][Ref.]. That means I'm in my "mid-life"! Shouldn't I buy some fancy sports car and doing crazy and wild things??
Sorry for thinking like that but for me, it's a brutal truth. No, I'm not counting down the days to my 35th birthday, but I do think realistically at the things my friends/family don't want to even let cross their minds. **SPOILER** Wake up people. Odds are pretty good that if a car crash doesn't take me, CF will. And it won't look at my kids when I'm older and think "Oh, what cute kids. I should let her live longer." And then CF just sits in the backseat for 20+ more years. No. Sorry. That's not how this works.
No, I'm not pondering on morbid thoughts. No, it really doesn't bother me. Sure, sometimes but isn't that normal?? But it doesn't right now. It's just something I think about because it's not like I can hide from it. I actually found it slightly amusing that I'm in my "mid-life crisis" about 20 years before everyone else. haha.
Ok. No more thoughts like that for the blog tonight. Sorry for being a debbie downer. lol
-Andrea
2 comments:
i don't think you're a debbie downer, just being realistic! That's why we live our lives to the fullest every day, because realistically we don't know how much time we have left, and I think its valuable that we have our midlife crisis at 19, it's probably better than worrying about the stupid things 19 year old girls worry about like girl fights and broken nails! Thanks for you're (brutally) honest post, we all know everything isn't always hunky doory with this disease :)
But think about it this way. You have been chasing the "life-expectancy" your whole life. When you were born, it was 6. By the time you're 35, it could be 50. And when you turn 50, it could be 200. And then you could be super-people!! :)) Love you Annie.
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