Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Luke 12:25-26

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Update + meltdown

So I moved back to college and started work week for rush almost immediately. Work week has long hours but it so much fun! I really got closer to my sisters! Following work week was rush, which was even longer hours, but was a huge success! (Rush, for those who don't know, is a term for formal recruitment for the sororities/fraternities on campus). Rush and school started on the same day, so that made the long hours even longer. It's been neat to see my new sisters in my classes. Like in my anatomy class, we have a group of about 10 of us, which is awesome!

I'm still trying to recover from those two weeks. It's really hard to catch up, but I'm trying. This weekend is going to be fun too though! Football, parties, and bringing so of my freshman friends to my church! Just wish I could catch up on sleep somewhere in there... haha!

So opening up socially about having CF is having some repercussions I didn't expect... like people trying to baby me or mother me. No details, but one incident left me in tears. She meant well, 100%, and she had no idea that it would affect me, but it did. Another scenario, which is occurring more often, has me on the edge of anger plus tears too. This is not exactly what I had hoped would happen. This is actually my worst fear. I'm being labelled by my disease. How could I let this happen?? I want to fix it but I don't know how. Part of me wants to just stop mentioning CF completely and pray they forget. But what if I have to go to the hospital for something? They won't forget that. But I don't want to submerse myself in it because I don't want them to think I'm fragile, which is what it has come to. .........................

Running errands today then hanging with my sisters tonight. Gonna be fun!


Kristin said...

We went through that a little too. It's hard for us non-CFers to understand being "sick" without "being sick." I'm sure they are just trying to be caring. Hopefully it will get better after they get to know you more.

Colleen said...

I lived in silence about having CF for years. I have worked at the same job for 11 years and very few people that I work with know I have CF. Even those I consider to be my friends. I realized I didn't want to tell people for the same reasons you are experiencing. I don't want to be treated differently. I don't want to be looked at as "the sick girl." Most of all, I don't want to be different. I have changed my perspective, because I have learned how important CF awareness is in my life.

I have learned in life that communiication is the number one tool we have to make a change. I have bad communication skills, but I am working on it. The best thing you can do is let these people know how you feel and the change you are looking for. Sometimes its hard to talk to people about how we feel or asking them to change a behavior, but chances are you will feel much better in the end.

Sorry, long comment. Your Cyster, Colleen