Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Luke 12:25-26

Sunday, October 3, 2010

My lungs...

I have never felt pain like this. It's not that it's unbearable, but it's just that it's never happened to me before. I've been absent-mindedly trying to pull my sternum forward with my hands. Literally. I will not think about, but catch myself trying to grab my sternum. I feel like my ribs and my sternum and pressing down on my lungs and it's making it hurt when I cough, swallow, and sometimes breathe. I really don't know what's going on, but since I go to the doctor in a few days, I'm sure they can tell me. This whole thing started this morning. I felt terrible, but I thought maybe it was just the start of a cold. However, I never got a cold. Just this pain in my lungs. NOT COOL.

I'm really becoming more anxious that I'll be sent to The Hole (aka hospital). I can tell I've lost weight because rings don't fit right and my jeans are too loose. And now my cough is getting worse, I got winded walking up one flight of stairs in the cold this evening, and now lung pain. I'm done for. There is no way I'm getting out of this Hole sentence. However, and I say this with emphasis: I DO NOT HAVE TIME RIGHT NOW TO STOP MY LIFE FOR A PICC LINE. I'm on step-show, I have a heart sis and then soon is Big sis/Lil sis week, and Homecoming week is coming up (which is super busy!), and an English midterm, and classes in general that are hard to do outside of the class itself (like anatomy LAB).... and oh yeah, MY 20th BIRTHDAY. I really really can't stop everything right now. The CF Great Strides walk is this weekend and since I'm the one that rallied everyone together I figure I should probably be there to walk it with them. Official verdict will be in 2 days. Pray pray PRAY this is an easy, non-hospitable, fix. Needless to say, I'm freaking out. No tears yet, but they will come. Either when they sentence me to The Hole or when they let me squeak by. I'll cry either way.

I have happier news, and those who are FB friends with me have seen it, but I don't want to dampen that news with my lung pain and fears. So it's another post for another day.


1 comment:

jkray622 said...

We'll be thinking and praying about you! Take care of yourself!