Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Luke 12:25-26

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Fear can sometimes be encouragement

The title of this post says it all. I have a twitter follower request from a 24 year old woman waiting on her new lungs. Cystic Gal got her lungs right around age 30. The boy JM I've mentioned before got his lungs in December. Even Grey's Anatomy today was about a CF patient getting his new lungs! I read Facebook posts, blog posts, tweets, and news articles about people getting new lungs. I even cut open a sheep's lung the other day in my Anatomy & Physiology II lab. Lungs lung lungs. I like mine. I'd like to keep mine. I hope to never have to give them up.

My good results from Cayston at the last check up gave me hope. If I stick with Cayston, Albuterol, Pulmozyme, and the Vest, plus my cardio I'm adding next quarter...well, let's keep these air bags healthy!! Sound like a plan?

At my last appointment, I spoke with JM's mom. She spoke about his year prior to his transplant. It was a very tough year for him, brought on mostly by his own personal life choices that had finally all caught up with him. She asked me a question that never in my wildest dreams would someone ask me at this point in my life: "Have you ever had to be on a ventilator?" The look of shock on my face was clear. Of course not. I'm 20, healthy, and living my life. Why on earth would I be vented? Well JM had and his mom described it as one of the most terrifying things.

Hello, motivation.

While my doctor's have never even whispered the word "transplant" to me, and my PFTs are too high to even think about it, it sure has been on the front of my mind a lot. I'm actually kinda bullied into being on top of my treatments by the overwhelming amount of transplant talk. Is that a good thing? Maybe. The result of the lingering topic is good, but being scared into good health isn't. I'm hoping that I can alter my own attitude from being afraid to being proactive. Either way, I plan on keeping these lungs forever by taking care of them and staying in shape.

I once told my friend, crying, that if I was ever excited about being on a TX list that she needed to snap me back into reality. While it may be an exciting time for many people, and congrats to them, it is some place I hope to never be.

I apologize if some of you find my last statement offensive. It is not meant to degrade anyone, but simply voice my personal feelings about the situation in regards to myself.

On a lighter note, I'm done with Winter Quarter! I get a short break, then back for 2 days, then off for MARDI GRAS! Sophomore year is flying by. WEIRD.

Sorry for being MIA lately. I really had to buckle down and focus all free time on school. You even missed a leg injury that I really thought was a fractured bone!! 2 weeks later (today), it still hurts to the touch and sometimes even to walk. So maybe I did do something to it. Regardless, I'm a quick healer and was walking normally by the next day.

That's all for now. Hope to be back posting more often now that I'm done with finals!



Josh said...

Lung transplants are definitely a frightening thought for those with healthy-ish lungs.

Being on the the TX list can happen for a multitude of reasons: genetic mutations, environment, inadequate healthcare by the patient or facility,...I could go on but you know what I mean. People can only control certain things in that equations. Otherwise, you do the best you can with what you've got.

You're doing a great job taking care of yourself and staying motivated to keep your original lungs for as long as possible..hopefully forever! I'm proud of your honesty and determination, Annie. That will get you far in life.

Peaceful things, bloggin' buddy!

Josh said...

P.S. I need to proof read my comments. Oops! :-)