Sick-- first time in forever

I was so excited because I made it through all of winter without getting sick! I knew it had to return sooner or later.

I started a 2 week round of oral antibiotics with a refill if I'm still not feeling better. I'm also already scheduled to go to clinic in 1 week, so pretty good timing there, Mr. Sinus Infection!

However, it has left me pretty drained, making my 8am classes 4-days a week kinda difficult. I'm doing the best I can!

Life has been full lately which is why the blog has, yet again, been put on the back-burner. Sorry 'bout that.

And I hate to call it a day this early, but I've got some studying to do. Just keeping the world updated on my life!

More updates after clinic at least!
-Annie

Back in the swing of things

Classes started back up today, hello Winter Quarter. You're going to be just as difficult as fall quarter, if not more so. I enjoyed my first day of classes though. My physics professor is Russian, but after about 5 minutes, I adjusted to his accent and understood most of what he said. Walking back into my anatomy class was same ol' same ol'. Same people, same seat, same professor, same classroom, etc. The difference is the attitude my group of friends is taking about this class. We all made the same grade and plan to all make a better grade this quarter!!

I did some decorating in my room today! I hung up 2 collages of pictures, some curtains across my closet opening, and got a little more organized. Having guests in the morning... ;]

I have a cold! No!! It takes me awhile to fall asleep at night due to the coughing, but at least it's very sound sleep. I took a nap today that was supposed to be 30 minutes and turned into 4 hours. Whoops. I needed the sleep though. I just picked up some Dimetapp Nightime cold & congestion hoping that it helps me get to sleep easier and some Advil for my throat. I have also had NO Dr. Pepper in 2 days now. I've been drinking only water and sweat tea (mostly water) hoping it helps my throat/vocal chords. Trying not to talk too much either.

Dear Cayston users, consider joining the ShAIR network! It's easy, it's free, and it helps the CF community! Shoot an email to this address ( info@shairnetwork.com) or call (1-877-742-4770) and they will send you a simple form. Fill it out, fax/mail it back, and they will set up a phone interview. I really enjoyed my phone interview. If you want anymore information on the ShAIR network, email me or email the address I just gave you or call their number! Do it!

Off to wash dishes.. or eat more. Or both. We'll see. :]

Happy December!

-Andrea

Hemoptysis update #2

Alright guys, unknown cystic called me out. I've been MIA about my health updates.

I called my clinic and talked to my doctor. She was glad to hear I put myself back on Vit. K because she would have put me back on it too. She upped my dosage to once a day while I'm on the bactrum (and I still have several days left). I got the ultimatum that if, in 24 hours, I was still coughing up blood, I was to drive home and go see my nurse practitioner (because the rest of my clinic was at the conference!) and get checked out. I was to not exercise or do the Vest, or do anything to stimulate coughing, aside from just my normal day-to-day cough. Otherwise, nothing else was changed.

I prayed hard and waiting for the 24 hours to pass: no blood! I think my lungs got the message that bleeding is not ok and stopped. :] I just started back on the Vest last night, since the hemoptysis had stopped, but I'm being cautious with it. I don't want to start it back up again.

My doctor said it was either just the antibiotics or I actually had a bug of some sort. If I had any bug, I'm guessing the bactrum and Cayston took care of it. But really, I think it was just my lack of Vit. K in my body.

Hooray! Coughing up blood is NOT fun. Glad that's over.

Sorry for the late update, Unknown Cystic. I've been insanely busy with Sigma stuff and finishing catching up on homework from when I missed.

-Annie

I haven't forgotten...

So my lull in blogging is due to getting the stomach bug right after the Great Strides walk, going to the local Urgent Care clinic to get a phenergan shot, and a topical prescription, and then trying to make up important school things (like my English midterm!) on top of Homecoming week this week and preparing for big sis/lil sis week next week!!

The race was a huge success, as I mentioned before in my last post. I really appreciated everyone who came out to support me (including Alissa who drove several hours to get there!) and the amount of money that was raised was incredible. I'm still floored. $29,000. Wow. Just... wow.

Nothing else to really report on right now I guess. I've been given another incredible opportunity to tell more people about CF, but I won't actually tell about it until after the fact. Hee hee. :]

My birthday is coming up! I'll be 20!

Umm... other than that, I can't really think of anything to report. I'm back on Cayston, I'm on bactrum because I had a cold (prevent a second infection), and otherwise feeling much, MUCH, better than I had been over the last week or two.

Ok, I'm starving. Time to EAT!

-Annie

Doctor's Appointment recap

First, I would like to say that I waste a lot of time worrying! And while it is a good thing to listen to your body and see what's wrong with it, sometimes our bodies aren't saying what we think they're saying. That being said...

I had a pretty good report! I gained weight, PFTs were stable, and my freaky lung pain is gone. We guessed that the lung pain was from my very sudden shift from a sedentary lifestyle to a very active one. My throat is hurting because I have a cold. That's all. A simple cold. No need for antibiotics, just to wait it out. AND, I was so worried about clinic taking the usual several hours and me missing my 1pm lab back at college, when this clinic visit only took and hour and a half! Shortest clinic ever! So not only did I make it back in time for my lab, I had time to eat lunch with the boyfriend too. Awesome!

So, here are the numbers:

Weight: 116lbs (up from 115)

FEV1: stable around 68%

I worry too much. lol

Starting Cayston today again.

Alright, time to carry on with my life. :]

-Annie

Update + meltdown

So I moved back to college and started work week for rush almost immediately. Work week has long hours but it so much fun! I really got closer to my sisters! Following work week was rush, which was even longer hours, but was a huge success! (Rush, for those who don't know, is a term for formal recruitment for the sororities/fraternities on campus). Rush and school started on the same day, so that made the long hours even longer. It's been neat to see my new sisters in my classes. Like in my anatomy class, we have a group of about 10 of us, which is awesome!

I'm still trying to recover from those two weeks. It's really hard to catch up, but I'm trying. This weekend is going to be fun too though! Football, parties, and bringing so of my freshman friends to my church! Just wish I could catch up on sleep somewhere in there... haha!

So opening up socially about having CF is having some repercussions I didn't expect... like people trying to baby me or mother me. No details, but one incident left me in tears. She meant well, 100%, and she had no idea that it would affect me, but it did. Another scenario, which is occurring more often, has me on the edge of anger plus tears too. This is not exactly what I had hoped would happen. This is actually my worst fear. I'm being labelled by my disease. How could I let this happen?? I want to fix it but I don't know how. Part of me wants to just stop mentioning CF completely and pray they forget. But what if I have to go to the hospital for something? They won't forget that. But I don't want to submerse myself in it because I don't want them to think I'm fragile, which is what it has come to. .........................

Running errands today then hanging with my sisters tonight. Gonna be fun!

-Annie

Rush Workshop: sick day

Yesterday I didn't attend the morning workshop because I was curled up in a little ball on my bed unable to move. Awesome. I showed up for the second half of workshop (after lunch) when I felt just a little bit better. Every girl I talked to told me to go back to bed. "This week doesn't matter as much as next week when we'll really need you!! Take care of yourself now!" So, I followed my sisters' advice and stayed in bed/on the couch all day yesterday. I hated missing workshop, but they were right. And I feel a lot better today! And, just to show another reason why I love my sisters, they made me a get well card! A lot of the girls signed it and it really did brighten my sad, sick day and made me feel better. I love these girls.

My voice is lost every day of workshop and comes back the next morning. Current voice status: shaky. But I need it for tonight because it's FOOTBALL GAME NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

Still super busy. I get a break in a few days. Sorta.

-Annie

Sleep, Zenpep, and new walking shoes!

How many hours of sleep did I get Saturday night? 10, and woke up still sick, but not tired! I was miserable Sunday morning.... again. Mom gave me a mani/pedi to help make me feel better. That combined with my puppy helped. I tried eating some food, since I hadn't eaten since lunch the day before, and I felt so incredibly sick afterwards. Luckily everything stayed on the correct course south, if you know what I mean. Sunday night, I hung with some of my very favourite people: Casey, Alissa, and Vizza. We had a girl's night at Alissa's house and had a great time catching up! I felt just slightly sick last night/this morning too. Not ok! I'm taking all the meds, so I should be feeling fine. We even upped my enzyme dosage... ugh I'm keeping an eye on it.

Sunday my mom and I went new walking-shoe shopping! We both needed good shoes for walking all over Boston and we found some! I got the Asics Strike 2 and I love it. (The colours aren't right on the link: I got purple and silver; I searched online for 20 minutes and never found my shoe in the right colours online, so that's the best I can do for ya!) They are the most comfortable shoes I've ever put on my feet. My mom also got a pair of Asics and she loves them.

I joined the Z-points program! It's for those people who take Zenpep enzymes. After I registered and logged in all of my Zenpep bottles, (including one I went recycling bin diving for thanks to Mom) I had enough points to order two $50 Amazon Giftcards!!!!!!!! I'm saving up for a Kindle! Almost every month I'll have enough points to order another card, and I'm really excited about this. It's kinda like back when TOBI used to allow us to order a $5 Blockbuster card or a $5 McDonald's giftcard with each TOBI refill, except 10x better (literally). Thank you, Zenpep!

If you are not a part of this program yet take Zenpep and want to be, LET ME KNOW because I get a lot of points for each person I refer.

Time to Wii Fit!

-Annie

Gut problems: day 4

STILL SICK.

I ate lunch today. That's it. Do I feel hungry? Not in the least. I actually feel like I ate dinner about an hour ago. Not stuffed, but not wanting to eat. And Dad even cooked potato soup, which I LOVE!! Luckily there are plenty of left-overs for when I feel better.

I've been having serious issues with waking up. Not sure what's up. It's amazing how long I can sleep. I'm about to try it tomorrow. Because of how miserable I've been, I'm sleeping in tomorrow instead of going to church. I'm going to try and get as many hours of sleep in tomorrow as I possibly can. Let's play the game: How Long Can Annie Sleep? Any bets? I'm thinking 11 hours and I still wake up tired. I'm going to go to bed at midnight tonight (finishing treatment now) and wake up and get out of bed whenever. No alarms, nothing. The dog will wake me up, but with the way I've been sleeping, it won't phase me in the least. I'll pass right back out. It's almost like I'm sick, but side from the gut stuff, I don't feel sick. And the gut stuff is not normal sick, it's "me sick". Which isn't really sick! Man oh man this is complicated.

I caught up with an old friend of mine! Lucy became my friend in kindergarten, back when everyone thought we were twins, and stayed close until she went off to a different high school and college. We grabbed some Starbucks and sat in a park and caught up today... it's like we were never apart! She really brightened my day! Thanks, Lu. :]

Almost bed time!

-Annie

Gut problems

These last few days have been really rough on my gut. Remember those stomach problems I have? The stricture in my colon? Yeah, well it gives me problems sometimes and these last few days have been rough. Today while I tried to cook dinner (because I needed to eat despite feeling sick), there were times when I had to crumple up on the floor in pain for a few seconds while the worst of it passed. I'm still doing that now, sometimes curling up and sometimes stretching out. I'm really not sure what makes to decide to curl vs. stretch, but neither really help or hurt, but it makes me feel like I'm doing something. I didn't finish my dinner, but I did get about half of it in before calling it quits. I was dreading doing my Vest this evening, with all of the stomach pain/nausea, when I remembered that I did (what I thought was) an extra Vest session this afternoon!! So yay for trying to be a get-ahead patient and ending up solving that problem before I knew I had one.

Mom refills my pill box when I'm home (yay!) and it looks much less intimidating now that we've gotten rid of a few pills. I've also, at the recommendation of one of the CF doctors at clinic, replaced the NeilMed saline sinus rinse with an Ocean Spray. I used the Ocean Spray right after my sinus surgery so I remember it from before, but never thought of using one over the other. I mentioned my nose-bleeds after using the NeilMed and how discouraging that made rinsing and hoped for a solution. We'll see if this is it!

Treatment is done, I'm so tired and maybe a good night's sleep will make my gut feel better... that's sometimes the case.

-Annie

Freshman year of college.... *check*

Dear readers: I am a very happy happy person right now. All of the stress of finals has been released. My freshman year of college is over with. The summer has hit me. It's time to RELAX.

The last few days has had some serious ups and downs. Let's recap

Ups:

Finished my chem & biology final, both on good notes

aka the stress of finals is GONE

Finished my dose of Bactrim!

KEPT MY A IN BIOLOGY!!!!!!!!!!

Actually got an adequate amount of sleep during finals

Erin, Anjea's sister, had her baby girl!!!

I got a 98% on my biology lab final! So I got a 99.5 in the class.

Downs:

Chris left for the summer

I've felt more sick than healthy

Didn't finish my OWL (chemistry homework)

I fight when I get stressed so stupid little fights with Chris over nothing.

My room looks so barren now that all the stuff is gone. It echoes when I cough. Kinda weird.

I could have made a 100% or a 58% on my psych final and kept my B. I did.

I got an 89 B in math. So annoyed.

So left to do is final packing/loading, CLEANING the apartment with the roomie, playing some Scrabble (for fun with friends before the summer) and going home either today or Friday (haven't decided...)

It's been a great first year and I'm ending with a pretty great GPA. :]

So long college! I'll see you again soon enough.

-Annie

Hot hot hot!

Look, I know it's May, I know I live in the south, and I know the humidity is always high... but seriously I should not feel this hot. I've been "dunking" my head into the freezer to cool me off! I still sleep on ice packs. I'm in a tank-top and shorts today and am still on fire even when the AC is turned up and directly on me. What is wrong with me?! I know I am always warm when I feel sick, but this is awful.

Ok, time to tell the story of my freaky illness on Wednesday. Monday night, I pulled an all-nighter to get homework done for a test I had at 8am Tuesday. Then I slept for 12 hours Tuesday night and studied the second half of Wednesday (because I had class and then rush workshop). So my friend Samantha and I were studying at my apartment until 2:15am. We had just finished when I commented on how dizzy I felt. I stood up and was really dizzy and nauseated. She asked what she could do to help. I said that since I thought it was because I was tired, I just needed sleep, so she left. I called Liz because I knew she was close and studying all night and she's in nursing school now. She said I needed to drink some water. I stood up to go get some and I fell to the floor, too weak to move. She asked if I could get to the door to unlock it. "No". So I woke up my roommate and she unlocked the door instead. This is 2:30am. I get back in bed and Liz gets me water. She feels my skin and I am hot to the touch. I am on fire. She grabs and icepack for my back (which I still sleep on) and Dr. Pepper cans for under my knees and one for under my chin. The room was spinning down and to the left. She got me a trashcan so I could throw up if I needed to. She also got me crackers to get the salt off of (usually makes me feel better) and to munch on something. Liz stayed with me until 5:30 that morning when I finally felt good enough to go to sleep. I still haven't recovered. I'm still burning up all the time (see first paragraph) and I feel nauseous a lot. I think the nausea is from the antibiotic but I'm not sure what the heat is for. Oh, and we took my temperature: 97.1 I'm just weird.

I still don't feel well right now so I think I'm going to eat some more soup. It usually helps things. It puts food in my system without overloading it. Ughh... I'm ready to feel better!!!!!!!!!!!!! And if I knew what was causing me to feel sick, that would really speed up the process.

-Annie

ps. My neighbor upstairs that I know saw me walking to my door today. She gave me a sideways look and said "I didn't know you lived downstairs....." My (already sick) stomach did flips. We'll see tomorrow what happens with that. Nothing, I hope.

Unexpected change of plans

I was going to post my latest school excitement, recent crazy sickness, and other such life info, when my plans suddenly changed: my grandfather died Friday night. I took it well when my mom called, probably because I was DDing for some friends and had to keep it together, but once I was back in my empty apartment, I began to sob. And I cried until I couldn't anymore. Then I called my mom wanting to be at home with my family. I hadn't planned to come home, I was going to stay and study and work on projects and such, but there was no way I could stay by myself. So mom left around 12:15 this "morning" to come get me. It's now 3:15am on Tuesday and I'm doing treatment before I get some sleep. My puppy is curled up on my legs.

I don't think it's hit me yet. The words "Pappaw has passed" doesn't make sense. Crap, here come the tears again. But really, those words don't seem to fit together. It's not a dream-like feeling, but it's not real feeling either. It's just surreal. And slow moving. Like everything has come to a stand-still but we're still moving.

I think one of the worst parts is that I feel guilty because I don't have time. His passing came at a really stressful and difficult time for me to slow down. I feel guilty because I feel I'm being selfish. But I think I was being selfish I wouldn't have emailed all of my professors saying I'm not coming to class and then come home.

No one is really sure how the weekend/week is going to go. I don't want to speculate though.

The mysterious sickness I mentioned earlier in the post is still coming and going. I'll talk about it on another post.

My eyes are burning and I just started TOBI. Only 5 more vials after this and then I'm done with TOBI for good.

-Annie

46 hours and counting...

46 hours is referring to the amount of time I have been awake. I'm actually, surprisingly, doing well. I pulled an all-nighter doing chem studying/homework for an 8am test I had this morning. I got an A. :] When I tried to take a nap earlier today, I couldn't fall asleep. So I got up and started doing things that needed to get done. So I'm still awake... but not for much longer. Once TOBI is finished, I'm going to SLEEP! I don't have a class until 12:30 tomorrow so I'm not worried about having to wake up early.

So Friday, my mom drives from home to my college to come pick me up because I feel so sick and don't want to drive. I was miserable, especially Friday morning. I can't wait until I'm done with this antibiotic so I can try the new enzymes and MAYBE feel better. Hopefully feel better. I did enjoy the time at home, though. We had a mini family crawfish boil, played cards, played with my nephew, and slept with my puppy. :]

So I thought this week was going to be better than the last two rough weeks I've had. But no. I had the chem test today, a psych test thursday, and a biology test friday. "Another biology test?" you say. YES. Another one. In 11 weeks, we have 7 tests. And each test (except for test 5) has information from the previous tests, not just the material we're learning. I've been doing ok, but I'm tired of always studying - for biology. Ready for a break!

Nothing else really to report. Chris and I are great. I still love Sigma Kappa. School is still driving me insane, but I still love to learn. I'm studying more than anything else (and I've NEVER been that way before, ever). I'm still not feeling great, and I'm sure the lack of sleep isn't helping.

OH. Story.

So before I left for chemistry to take my test this morning at 8am, I ate a little food (to take my antibiotic with), grabbed a Dr. Pepper to keep me awake, and walked to class. I walked with this guy, who was in my kines class last quarter and in my chem class this quarter, because he was walking past my apartment right when I came outside. So we walked and talked. He ended up sitting in front of me for the test. Mind you, these classrooms are stadium-style so he's below me also. The test starts and I'm working problems and such, when I get thirsty. I still have my DP. I reach for it and instead of grabbing it, I knock it off my desk... onto this guy. And Dr. Pepper gets on his polo, his desk, the guy next to him, the floor... I'm so embarrassed. This is in the middle of the test. Jokingly, he turns around and says "Thaaaanks..." with a smile so I'm not completely crushed. Our professor brings over a wad of paper towels and the guy cleans up the mess. I apologize like 30 times and put the remainder of my DP on the floor behind me. Later in the day, I drop that same DP on the floor in my apartment. I poured out whatever was left and threw it away. It had to be cursed.

Oh, ALSO, we dissected a rat in biology lab. Sick. It was a pretty funny situation though. I didn't want to pin it down, but I would cut it. We had to get a guy from another group to pin it down. Then, I was going to cut it open when one of my lab partners did it, while saying "It's just a little deer... it's just a little deer..." because she can clean a deer, but cutting a rat freaks her out. My other lab partner is shielding her eyes because she has a phobia of rats and a phobia of deceased things. So this was NOT a good day for her. Once we got it open, my phobic lab partner asked us to cut off the head and tail before she came over. Oh no thank you. So we covered all but the inners with paper towels so my dear friend wouldn't have a panic attack. We finished that lab about 10 minutes before anyone else. We just wanted out of there. It was amusing. Smelly, but amusing.

Ok, it's almost bed time. FINALLY!!!!

-Annie

Stressed is an understatement

Short post because I have no actual free time-

I'm stressed. Words honestly cannot express how stressed I am. I can't even try. It's that bad. I'm missing mandatory things for other mandatory things. I have tests and homework that are being backseated because I literally don't have the time. LA GEAR UP is driving me nuts. Sigma Kappa is being backseated because of this. So I guess if SK is being backseated, school is being thrown in the trunk. I'm stressed so I take it out on others (aka Chris) and in turn ticks him off which stressed me out even more. I had to skip class to go to this GEAR UP thing on Friday that ended an hour and a half later than I thought it would. Then tomorrow, I'm going to be with them from 8-5. Then study or something if I have time. Then I have formal which I'm going to because A- I paid for it and for my date. B- Chris stayed in town instead of driving to help some people move into an apartment from Mississippi. C- I'm DDing. D- I already have a dress. I plan on making an appearance and leaving to try to get homework in. But alas, on Sunday, I have church from 9-12, nursing home at 2 (which I want to go to but probably won't) mandatory street cleaning at 4, mandatory Rush clothes trying on at 5, and mandatory meeting at 6. Oh look, then Monday rolls around and I have a test. I'm sorry Dr. Sellers, I didn't have time to study. *FAIL*.

And, not her fault nor am I mad at her in any way, shape, or form, but Liz went to the ER today because she's been really sick. So I stayed with her at her apartment for a while instead of studying because I felt she was more important. When her kicked in and she was almost as high as a kite and ready to watch a movie until she passed out, I left. But I only left to duke it out with Chris some more. Now I'm too exhausted from the long day to really focus on school. But I'm about to try.

So this post wasn't as short as I thought. I guess that's what happens when you need to vent. And Chris and I are fine. I just get mean when I'm stressed.

I highlighted all the mandatory things because it made me feel better somehow. And while "church" is not technically mandatory, it kinda is in my book, but there's a chance I might not make it this week. And "formal" is highlighted for the reasons listed.

-Annie

I'm Home I'm Home! (Until tomorrow)

Thank GOODNESS my hectic week is over with. 3 tests and an interview... I'm all tuckered out. Unfortunately, it wasn't a great week for tests or interviews, but that's ok I guess. I didn't do terrible on any of them, but not as great as I had hoped/expected. I went through the interview process for Union Board but did not get on it. It was an interview experience unlike any other I've ever had before, so it was a great experience. I also learned from several people on UB that most people don't get on it the first time they apply. It takes 2 or sometimes 3 tries so I'm encouraged to apply again in the fall. (The current VP of UB had to apply twice, for example.) So while I would have rather just gotten on this time instead of having to go through this again, I'm not really upset about it. I'll simply apply/interview again in the fall. It was a good experience too.

So Monday morning at 6:00am, I had a tapping on my window as I was pulling my hair into a ponytail. It was the boyfriend saying "hurry up!!!" We had agreed to start running on MWF at 6am together on the track. And on Monday, boy was it COLD!! But I ran it anyway. And went back to bed. lol. I didn't run it on Wednesday because he "let me off the hook" because I helped him tremendously with his lab report. He ran a mile and then did a lot of sprints at 3 that morning (after pulling an all-nighter). He didn't sleep until the following afternoon when he slept for 14 hours straight. This was also after swimming a ton of laps. Boys are crazy. I needed the sleep too.

OH. However! I'm not getting much sleep because 1- the people upstairs are still insane and keep me awake and 2- we now have a construction crew working on the apartment I'm LIVING IN at 7am! There's no hope for sleep I suppose.

I had mentioned recently that I've been feeling sick all the time. Well it hasn't really changed much, no surprise there. My mom ran into one of my nurses from my clinic and mentioned my problem. My nurse said that they have new enzymes out with really great results and has made some chronically ill-feeling people feel better! I've never been a friend to change, but this one might be worth trying. Also involves fewer pill numbers....

It feels so good to be home. My weekend is going to be spent with family and with the highway. I drove home yesterday, spending today here, and then driving back tomorrow. Then, on Sunday, my mom is coming to my church to watch me sing in the Easter service. Then I'm riding back home with her to spend more time with family. THEN on Monday, I'm riding BACK to college with the boyfriend. Got all that? So that's a total of 4 trips. Lol! 4 trips in 5 days. Whew!

Happy Birthday to the Reasoner twins!!! They turned 1 year old today! Keep fighting Brett!

Tonight is the Good Friday service at my home church. After that, I'm going to Barnes & Noble to visit a friend, Betsy, who is having a book signing for her latest book that was released yesterday! Read about it here!

Recently, I sat through and I read a large chunk of my first posts. It was really interesting to me because this is somewhat like a diary. My passion for soccer drove my enthusiasm to stay well, even when I rocked a PICC. Sometimes I feel like that passion has drained out of me. That is very frustrating to me. Sometimes it's hard to fight for something you don't even know if you'll get. So lately I've been trying to fight not only for my future, but for the present and my friends and family. These are the people who will be with me for the rest of my life and I don't want to hurt them. So I must stay strong if not for myself, for them.

To all my Catholic friends (and others who gave up things for Lent), you've almost made it!!! Don't give up!!

Alright, time to finish getting ready for the day. My brother, sis-in-law, and nephew are coming over soon. Can't wait! I love seeing family!!!

-Annie

Quick Update

I have been feeling sick off and on since Thursday. Let me just say that this is getting old pretty quickly. I'm taking all of my medicines, eating lots, drinking both water and Dr. Pepper, getting sleep, etc.... and yet, I feel sick daily. I called Mom and she thinks it's probably a sinus infection and the nausea is from sinus drainage, which is common for me. But another sinus infection? Ok sinusitis, I know you're there! No need to keep causing me problems! lol The only reason it doesn't feel like a normal sinus infection is that my nose isn't stuffy/runny. Maybe the headaches replaced the gross nose stuff. Not sure. All I know is it's bothersome. But there's no time to stop and go to the doctor yet. If it persists and/or gets worse, then I'll make time. But right now, I'm busy with school, social, sorority, spiritual, and sleep. The 5 S's.

I'll keep you posted.

-Annie

(Un)Happy Post # 100!

I was hoping my 100th post would be a happy one. Part of it is! We'll start with the good stuff.

My sis-in-law who's been preggers just found out what she's having today... A !!!!! So I'll get to add a niece to the nephew I already have. That was definitely the highlight of my day.

I've also been drinking a lot more water lately. I'm a Dr. Pepper addict (and proud of it) and I've been chain-drinking for the past few weeks. Friday night I realized I was really really dehydrated. So for 3 1/2 days straight, I drank nothing but water, with surprisingly few negative side-effects. After those 3 1/2 days, I've only had 1 can of Dr. Pepper each day. And it's slowly consumed, unlike the last few weeks when I would finish 2 or 3 in under 2 hours, easily.

However, these rough 3 weeks have really been hard on me. I realized today I'm depressed. Not the diagnosable depression, but just down. I can't eat, I fight with the boyfriend, and I've lost the will to fight CF. I go through stages like this so I'm not too worried about it. But here's what I've contributed it to: I'm homesick, I'm mad that I'm homesick, I feel sick in general, I'm mad I feel sick, I'm stressed, I'm tired, the weather is depressing, I feel like I'm caught in a circle of bad health I can't get out of. Tuesday, I couldn't walk without getting winded. I really felt I was going to die on the couch. Because I feel this way, I don't feel like I can't get back to the physical health I was at. The feeling of hopelessness leads me to stop fighting CF. So when I stop pushing back, I feel even worse. Then I get mad because I h.ate feeling sick. And the cycle continues. UGGHHH!!!

I need it to get pretty outside so I will at least be happier in general, but it is suppose to SNOW tomorrow night. Here in the south, it's not pretty snow. It's gross. Really gross. It doesn't stick. It just makes everything soggy and heavy. I want it to be warm again! When it's a nice warm, sunny day, we all feel a little bit better. I having to bundle up to walk to the gym just to take it all off when I get there. And then I have to find a place to store my clothes while I workout and put them back on before walking back out. It's really annoying, to be honest. And I'm back to seriously hating running again. Did you know that jogging/running is the most ha.ted form of exercise in America?? At least I'm not alone in my hatred. I wouldn't mind just doing weight/flexibility training, but we've been over this: I need cardio too....

I tried the 5 hour energy drink this evening. I chose the grape flavour. It tasted like watered down Dymatapp, so I could stomach it. People, IT REALLY WORKS. I'm very much a skeptic on things like this, but 5 hour energy works. I wasn't jittery or hyper. I just felt awake. Normal awake. And alert. Occasionally, while studying, my eyes would get a little droopy. Give it a few seconds, and they were fine again. It was great. And I watched the clock and as the 5 hours ended, I didn't crash and burn. (It ended an hour ago) I got progressively sleepier as the 6th hour dragged on, but it was 11+ pm and I SHOULD be sleepy! I had a very slight headache afterwards, but it's nothing like the caffeine/sinus headaches I get. Do follow the directions though. It says don't take more than 2 a day, with SEVERAL hours in between. So basically, don't OD on 5hr energy drinks, ok?

Oh, and the New Orleans Saints won the Superbowl. :]

That's all. Don't worry. I'll be fine. I just need some time and for this test tomorrow to be done with. Then I'm baking a cake. Or cupcakes or something.

-Annie

Confession

A tradition that appeared unintentionally, and is still going strong: I forget enzymes on with Christmas breakfast.

It just happens! I do it every year and don't notice it until it's too late. However, I DID take them with Christmas lunch, which is very very important. I did not eat dinner this year, a twist on the normal routine. I still felt full. Well, kinda. I did feel full, but it was a "bad" full. That full where you can eat, but your body is going to h.ate you for it later. Either way, my body is mad at me today for whatever reason. Something's wrong. It seems to be way worse than just missing breakfast enzymes. Something bigger. I'm hoping I'm wrong and something just didn't agree with me, because I held Carter for over an hour yesterday and I really can't be "sick" sick (as opposed to "CF" sick). Aside from urgent bathroom runs (sparing you the details, you're welcome), I feel fine. My GI gurgles much more loudly than usual, but no other serious symptoms. I figured that if I have a stomach bug, I'd be throwing up too. I have a lot planned these next few days! I can't be "sick" sick!!! *sigh*

I usually don't feel well around the holidays (change of patterns, visitors, change in eating habits, large portions, less sleep, etc.). But this... ugh this is annoying.

We'll see what happens with all this junk.

Merry Post-Christmas!

-Annie

Sinuses Vs. Annie

Guess who's winning...

They are kil.ling me right now! Today was initiation and I had a headache the whole time. :[ It was still wonderful though.

Oh, and last night... ooooh last night. 3 or 4 times between 2-4am, I got up and ran to the bathroom because I thought I was going to throw up. Every time I prayed to God to not let me throw up because I h.ate it and I couldn't be sick for initiation. I had to be there. Eventually I drifted back to sleep until I few minutes before my alarm went off so I got up anyway.

My mom brought albuterol!!! About to do a treatment now. I don't feel like I need it (not coughing a bunch, not short of breath) but I know I need it for the long-term affects.

Love,
One of Sigma Kappa's newest Actives. :]