*sigh*..... Apologies and Excuses

So I've been very MIA and I apologize. I've not felt inspired to write. I've been a little down and feeling kind of couped up in my house. It's not that I don't enjoy my family time or I don't like being home, but when you've lived away for an extended amount of time, it's hard going back. I've also had trouble with the idea of summer where you do "nothing." As a CFer, I feel as though doing "nothing" for an extended amount of time is a waste of my precious time. Being bluntly realistic, and maybe even too fatalistic, but I don't have as much time to kill as my peers. They all have probably a good 20 years on me in the long run, at best, and I find that wasting a few months of "down time" is excessive and extremely frustrating. I cleaned the house one time. Not just dusted here and there. I SCRUBBED floors and made the house shine. I felt like I was actually doing something of value. My summer would have not been so frustrating had I not just been in summer limbo between Spring Quarter and the classes I was going to take in July (which started today). It wasn't enough time to get a job and it was time to repack for my new apartment just as finished unpacking. I, honestly, had fallen into a rut of mild depression. I would cry sometimes because I was so miserable doing nothing.

I had a doctor's appointment this past Tuesday, July 5. It didn't go well. During my rut of sadness and frustration, I neglected most things health-related. Well done, brainiac! So now, not only am I recovering from being upset, I'm not feeling well either. A downward spiral for sure. My doctor looked at my numbers and just flat out asked me... "what happened?" Then the tears began to flow. I just told her everything, about how lonely I was, how my break-up last March has taken a toll on me, how I hated being so bored, how I neglected my meds to be in control of something in my life, etc. etc. etc. With her understanding that these results were self-inflicted and not just me being sick for no reason, I was granted oral antibiotics for 3 weeks instead of IV ones. However, I go back in mid August for a re-test of PFTs. I'm about 85% back on track on everything as of right now. I'm trying, I really am. Habits are hard to break, especially bad ones. I'm also on a pill to make me hungry because my appetite has dropped significantly and I've lost 2lbs over the last few months. Bad bad bad.

I'm getting better though. I'm back in my college town with new and old friends and finally school! As much as I hate my 8am physics class, I feel like I have something worthwhile to do. I have a purpose again and something to keep my mind occupied. TV gets old really fast.

Also exciting, I'm going on a mother-daughter Dallas trip this weekend, Friday-Sunday including Six Flags and shopping! I finally feel like my mom has become more of a friend figure who I can talk to instead of an authority figure and I like that. We get along these days. I like finally being respected.

Sorry for not posting forever. I really would pull up a new post and just stare at the screen, feeling completely unmotivated to type. Even when I had things to say, the words wouldn't come so I just closed the screen.

Things are looking up. After having a very rough spring, and a frustrating summer, I feel there is only good ahead. I have hope, and that's a good thing.

-A

Bloggers, blogs, and bloggies?

The Andrea Standard Dictionary defines a "blog" as "Noun: An online journal being actively updated by a blogger; Verb: to actively write in the online journal."

The ASD defines a "blogger" as "Noun: Anyone who is actively writing in a public or private blog; a blogger may simultaneously be a bloggie."

The ASD defines a "bloggie" as "Noun: Anyone who is actively reading a public or private blog; a bloggie may simultaneously be a blogger."

Now that that's straightened out, it's time to blog in my blog about other blogs and bloggers. (The word 'blog' is starting to look really funny.)

My Go-To Guys/Gal:

Sometimes I have basic CF questions. Sometimes I have more complex questions. Either way, I usually want those questions answered! Googling stuff about CF usually gives me WAY more information than I wanted, tending to result in information overload and a sob-session. I do my best to avoid just parading into the unknown world of the internet with CF questions, but I still want my questions answered. They are usually not questions that I really need to call my doctor for, but I can't ask any of my friends either (seeing as they know way less about CF than I do). So what do I do? I have found a few blogs that are chock-full of good, honest information that I really love. More importantly, these people are actively answering questions with a *positive attitude* and a heart for all cysters and fibros and their families. There are 3 I am going to list because these are the 3 that I actively go to:

RunSickboyRun

Ronnie has on his site the phrase: "It is a place where no question is ignored, no accomplishment is too small, no goal is too big, and every comment is cherished." This is not just something he wrote and ignored. I have never seen a question he didn't answer nor a comment he didn't reply to. Ronnie and Mandi and their newly-married selves are passionate about keeping the CF community positive, active, and inspired to keep fighting. His blog is a wealth of knowledge and a place for funny stories, goofy pictures/videos, and of course good, solid advice.

Cystic Gal

CG has always been a joy to read. I love her blog because it really does get down past the fluffy journalism and into the tough stuff. She's so real with all her posts and her readers I feel like I've known her forever. Her writing style is informative, creative, and usually pretty hilarious. Oh, and the fact that she calls mucus "yuckies" makes me laugh. The latest drama on her blog is her too-long of a wait for new lungs, but she posts about all things CG and CF related!

CF Fatboy

I absolutely love this site. Fatboy makes me smile for a couple of reasons: 1-On his blog, his wife's "name" is Beautiful. That's just too cute. 2-I've found that on a lot of topics, we agree 100%. His recent post about smokers, for example, included all my feelings that I'm incapable of putting into words. Feels good to know someone can convert my wordless rage into a readable and relatively calm explanation. Also, Fatboy obviously appreciates every comment left on his blog because he has a response to each one! He's a great site to go to if you want inspiration, laughs, great stories, and an honest look at CF and how it affects us all.

Friendship through CF

Lauren B.

Lauren is a girl I met on a CF forum, back when that was my thing, and I loved that she was my age and had an active lifestyle and a positive attitude through it all. She's one of the girls I go to about 19yr old, girl, college stuff! We have a lot in common so it's easy to go to her about stuff that really only applies to us. She's got such a way with words and writes so elegantly and passionately, that her blog is definitely one to save when you want to read about truth, determination, and the love of life!

The Reasoner Twins

Jennifer Reasoner is a mom with 3 boys, including a set of twins, one of which has CF. He's had quite the battle already, but at age 1 he's already deployed the fighter within and takes whatever comes at him with smiles. This blog is where Jennifer writes about not only her CF son, but her entire family, and that's one thing I love about this blog. One thing I've learned about getting past CF is looking past it. Realizing that despite all of the treatments and pills, I have a family and many friends who love me dearly and a life I plan on living. Her blog is full of love and compassion for her son's health and for her entire family. Check it out!

Coming soon to a computer near you....

My mom is considering the idea of starting a blog herself!! It's a summer project for the two of us. She wants to make it a blog full of good information for CF parents everywhere. It will be less of a day-to-day blog and more of an information center for CF parents needing answers. Becoming a parents is hard. Becoming a parent of a kid with any disability is even harder. My mom wants to take the knowledge she has from raising a child with CF and make it accessible to anyone. No one should have to go through that struggle alone. I'll keep you updated on the progress!

-Annie

Hope from a glowing cat

Reneau, my lab mom from when I worked in a research lab, visited New Orleans the last few days and posted this on her facebook:


"this is MR. GREEN GENES.....lsuhsc-new orleans scientists cloned the green fluorescent protein i use for my cells into the genes of the cat!!!! this type of knockout gene therapy is being used to help discover treatments for cystic fibrosis and diabetes!!"


Reassurance that people are working to help us. And are making progress.

-Andrea