A Christmas gift to myself

Merry Christmas again everyone!! :]

I hope your Christmas was just as fantastic as mine was, filled with the story of Christ, quality time with family and of course, great food.

On a less happy note...
Warning, brutal honesty up ahead. To keep your Christmas cheer intact, read later!
So, I'm frustrated with myself. I fluctuate on being compliant and not. Current status: bad Annie. But my Christmas present to myself is compliance.

It's a gift to myself because if I'm compliant now, I'll still have time for things later in life when I'll really want to still be around. And also for the now. Right now, I sound terrible, coughing too often for my personal comfort. I can barely play soccer. I can hardly sing. I can't lie down without people asking if I'm ok because I'm coughing so much. NOT OK WITH ME. Yet, I did this to myself. So, with roughly 20 days until my next doctor's appointment, I'm challenging myself to be 100% compliant. Not only in meds but also in fitness. I may not run 2 miles every day (although I am still really proud of myself from that day in Dallas), I need to run some and walk some. Mom also got Zumba for the Wii for Christmas and I tried it out with her today. It's really hard, but has great potential to be a serious workout. In an extension of my compliance, I've also upped my Vest time. Instead of 15 minutes once a day (which is surprisingly low), I'm doing 30 minutes at night and 15 minutes in the morning. This is not a suggestion, but an executive decision on my part to change my routine. It's set in stone as far as my compliance goes.

This morning was rough with the pills. Breakfast took a little longer than I anticipated to be ready, so I felt very sick for a few minutes with a handful of pills on an empty stomach. With a few crackers, it was remedied.

I can't decide whether this is going to be difficult or not. So far, it's not really been that hard, but it's been a mind of matter situation. It's so much easier to pop a select few pills and walk away than it is to wait and take them all, but I am getting my mind over the urge to just walk away. So far, so good. I've been 100% compliant so far and I fully intend to keep it that way. I've thought about getting someone to keep me accountable, but knowing myself pretty well (ha!), I know that the person gently reminding me or asking if I've taken everything, every day, would drive me up a wall and I would probably give up and be angry/frustrated about it. So it's just me holding myself accountable to myself and to this blog and to my own personal records.

I can do this.

My goal is to extend the compliant nature past my doctor's appointment of course, and hoping that by that time, things will simply be habit once again and I won't have to do a daily battle with myself!

Finishing up my 30 minutes of evening Vest, about do to my evening Cayston, then making myself a water, taking my evening pills, and then I'm off to bed. I've had a very, Merry Christmas and I hope you have too!

-Annie